Monday, July 13, 2009

My Girlfriend

I can't believe I forgot to tell you all about my girlfriend! I met her on a Pacific cruise while touring the Bahamas. We kinda started noticing each other when I tried to steal her bologna sandwich because it looked much tastier than the prune burger that I brought along. I gave it back to her because she pulled out a machete and threatened to cut off my head if I didn't give it back. Then, I saw beauty behind those eyes glittered with malice and hatred. Then I said, "Roses are red, voilets are blue. You're pretty. " To make a long story short I took her to the International Cheese Convention for our first date and now we are like BFBAGFs. (Best friend boyfriend and girlfriend forever.) As for the machete... to her three year old nephew. She sure is wonderful!

Isn't she yummilicious?!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Why People Are Mean to Me

As you might of guessed I got made fun of and beat up a lot in school. There are several reasons for this. First, when you play with Legos at sixteen and people ask you if you have a car... Well when you have to tell them that you don't, but could probably build one out of all your Legos... Yeah, you are a failure as a teenager. Second, when wearing a batman mask at school, one must remember that the costume gives you no power whatsoever. So, calling the quarterback of the school football team a weak minded fool is hazardous. Third, The name Barry Jerry is just asking for trouble. My parents must have either been angry because I was missing my pinky when I was born (I later had a replacement put on.) or in a comedic mood when they named me. Anyway, this name rhymes so it causes people to think of other rhyming words like hairy, fairy, scary, etc. I mean already on my own blog a complete stranger has called me scary. For the evidence see the comments on the post of my graduation.


Okay, so I was walking down the street today in my mask and this random guy comes up to me.

Man: Hi
Me: Um, hi?
Man: Can I borrow your wallet
Me: sure, why not
Man: Gee, thanks

Then he runs off! How does he plan on bringing my wallet back? It's not like he can read my mind and know where I live. Maybe he reads my blog. I'm still confused why he would need to borrow the whole wallet. I mean, can't I just let him borrow a few bucks? Should I be concerned?
Who is Bob Barker? Does anyone know him? Why won't my car start? Do all cars you get for free from your parents make a muffled choking sound when you start them? Bye.

Monday, July 6, 2009


I just got my Bachelors degree! I'm going to be going back soon to get my Masters soon, but I'm still glad I'm finally finished. My parents even gave me a car! My roommate was very mean to me and always hogged the bathroom, so I'm hoping for better luck next time.
My new car
Me in my graduation attire


Batman is another one of my role models because he is so cool. I thought he deserved his own post. He is a maniac! The awesome way he fights crime, the batmobile, the batmocycle, his cape, etc. are all awesome. As a matter of fact, I am so proud about this hero that I'll even wear my batman mask when I walk around from place to place. Ah! I just feel free when I'm wearing it! I guess there are many batman fans around here, because when people see me it always seems to brighten there day and put a smile on their face. It does me good to see that my most beloved superhero mask just making people happy.

This is me in my awesome mask.
I hope my face acne isn't too noticeable

Hi there!

Hi there! for those of you who don't know me, my name is Barry Jerry! I live in a duplex apartment in Yakima Washington. I have a fish, George. And a cat, Squiggles. I work at the nearby apple sorting station called "Washington Apples." I think Legos are da bomb. I have several role models in my life. One of them is Abe Lincoln because he was a good president and I like his beard. Another one is Barry Goldwater because he has such a cool first name. Also St. Nick because he fills my stockings with loot every Christmas. Well, actually something weird has been happening. Ever since I moved away from my parents in Seattle, Santa has seemed to have forgotten about me... Anyway, um I don't like black licorice flavored anything. Um, I think that's all you need to know about me. Bye!